Seriously. Fuck. The. Moon.
Like, everyone knows that the heavens are in motion and have a set cadence to them. We’ve known that shit since Copernicus – hell, even the Bible talks about it. The sun gets the day, the moon gets the night. And the sun is perfectly happy with this arrangement. But the moon? Oh no, not the moon. That fucker just comes out during the day anyway, just hanging out in the blue sky like some kind of assshole, knowing that nobody’s gonna do shit to it. Instead, humanity practically has a fetish for that silver orb; everyone always talks about how it’s got a perfect orbit, or how impressive it was we put a man on the moon, when we should have been using the friggin Apollo missions to kick its lunar ass. Christ, I can see why Toriyama keeps blowing that shit up throughout Dragon Ball – at least someone else out there gets it. And now people are talking about how the moon used to be part of the Earth billions of years ago, and that it’s some kind of child to earth. Well, all I have to say to that is if the moon is Earth’s baby, no amount of Catholic upbringing could convince me not to abort that fucker. It’s a piece of celestial shit and I hope some passing asteroid takes it out and saves us all the pain of having to stare at it all the goddamn time. Fuck the moon.