I had an uncle who tried to touch me when I was 12, and you won’t believe the amount of times I’ve been told I have no idea what sexual harassment is like as a man, by pampered suburban girls who think “stare rape” is a thing and “manspreading” is an important issue.

I’ve also had one feminist tell me to get over myself. another say “well now you know how women feel literally every day!” and another tell me that she was “aww jealous”.

Nearly kicked the latter one right in her rancid little muff down the stairs out of my house for thinking that someone trying to molest me as a child was something to be jealous of. Then she pretended her parents were dead as well because she was jealous of the very slight sympathy I got when people saw the alter I set up for my parents ashes. That was before I shooed some of her friends away from it because I woke up to find them doing lines off it.

I’m not friends with the rancid little slapper who snuck all of these people into my house thinking that because I let her crash on my sofa she could invite strangers round for ketamine and to trash my mother’s things. I hate spoiled little rich kids. They think they’re so much better then me because their parents buy them expensive clothes and trips to Macchu Picchu and Sri Lanka so they can “discover themselves” b y throwing up on everything and smoking crap weed with all their pretentious “gap yah even though we are almost 30!” shithead friends in a hotel and think because my parents are dead they can treat my house like a warehouse dive. I especially despise the passive aggressive little bints who get people as stupid as they are to think they are totally adorable by talking like a handicapped baby girl, throwing tantrums, cuddling stuffed animals and wearing t shirts that say shit like CUTIE and ANGEL and BABY GIRL and wear gallons of horrible cheap perfume that smells like sugary air freshener but treat everyone around them like shit and burst into tears when called out on their shitty behaviour. Like no, get the fuck out of the house, this Daddy has no cummies for you you transparent, obnoxious, braindead cunt. I see through your little act. No cummies for you. You will find no cummies here, so go home and flick your horrid little unloved bean over all the guys who don’t find you attractive and can’t be emotionally bulldozed into babying your fat ass. You are almost 30 you are too old to be acting like a bratty Veruca Salt trying and failing to pretend she’s not Veruca Salt.