Daily reminder that it’s perfectly acceptable to have sex with your dog as long as:

1.) It’s physically possible to have sex with the dog without causing physical injury, and you proceed without the intention of harm.

2.) The dog initiates every interaction, and every interaction ends immediately upon the dog’s slightest expression of displeasure. (This counters the consensual imbalance of power between humans and dogs.)

3.) You don’t incorporate any sexual abnormalities not typically observed in canine sexual behavior (i.e. BDSM, scat, breath play, etc)

4.) You don’t coerce the dog into cooperation. (Coercion, in this instance, refers but isn’t limited to (a) punishment or the threat of punishment, (b) reward or the promise of reward, and (c) manipulative tactics like the use of peanut butter.)

5.) You don’t brute force the interaction with the animal.

6.) You don’t involve anyone, human or otherwise, who doesn’t express somehow that they actively want to be involved.