YOUR spine can’t, for now, but if you practice one hour every day, I swear you’ll get better in no time. I followed a strict regiment for a whole year, and as a self-proclaimed professional self-dick-sucker, I can give you the following advice.

1. You can try sucking your own pp after brushing your teeth for that minty fresh feeling.
2. You can also use spicy food for an adverse effect, you will suffer the first few times, but you will come to like it.
3. Once you’re done mastering what I call *Frontal Excavation*, you can try bending your body backwards and displacing your head to between your legs to **succ** your own balls. – Extra difficulty – try to reach the tip with the same method.
4. This is the most important tip: have fun with your newfound knowledge!

Those are all my secrets to becoming a self-proclaimed professional self-dick-sucker. I hope we can battle one day to see who can give himself the biggest and naughtiest blowjob!