Posting for u/RealSlime87 because he doesn’t have enough karma
Mandatory apology for possible grammar and or formatting issues (phone)
Cast:
Me: guess who
Mom: I hope you can guess
EA: sports. No, it’s the entitled aunt
EK: embarrassed kid
So, last weekend I had what you could call a wild Pokémon. And of course my entitled aunt appeared from the tall grass (not literally tho lol)
We were at a family gathering, trying to keep to regulations as best we could, but this is America so… I think you get the idea. The problem was the EA wasn’t meant to know about it. She has… A history.
So, she (and I don’t kid you here) kicks the door open and shouts : what is up y’all!
You could literally see everyone’s mood drop.
M: what the actuall hell are you doing here ea?
EA: coming to see mah fam yeh (at this point I am utterly bemused as to why she is speaking in 2017)
M: ???
Please leave.
EA: hell no sis! I’m comin’ to hang
Me: (under my breath) if it’s hanging you want, I can tie a noose for you
EA: speak up pipsqueak
I am rather short for my age, but that was a bit harsh
EK: can I go plaaaaaaay nooooow
EA: ok sweetie pie you can go play on OPs computer
Me: woah woah woah! You have no right to do that!
And yet, that hellspawn of a kid is literally crashing upstairs to my room and jumping on my chair (200 dollars cuz I am kinda spoilt) and tries to log on.
EK: whaaaat’s the paaasssswoooord?
Me: for me to know and for you to never know, now get out of my flipping room.
And no joke, he runs downstairs bawling his eyes out.
At this point I give up and let my mom and pop deal with, and I go to collapse on the sofa in the lounge.
I pull out my iphone 11 and start scrolling through r/memes . This proves to be a bad move on my part.
EK: that’s a nice phone
I know where this is going, so I try to steer the conversation away from my phone. Let’s save you the reading and tell you I was unsuccessful.
EK: give it! I waaaaant it!
This gets the attention of the aunt.
EA: what is it sweetie?
EK: I want phoooone!
EA: you can’t have it, I’m sorry EK. (This takes me by suprise)
M: Leave! You have bothered my family enough!
Angered, EA snatches my phone and gives it to her hellspawn, who puts it in their pocket.
EA: we will be leaving now.
EK: byyye!
As they leave through the door I manage to grab the phone, and I see the EAs frustrated faces after she realises I got it back.
My grandma in the other roomhad slept through the whole thing.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.