I’ve already had enough of the damn amongst us memes. Imagine the situation you’re sitting in class and suddenly one of your colleagues decides to draw this damn crewmate on the whiteboard, well I don’t need to imagine anything since this happened to me. I got up from my chair angry as fuck ready to punch this bitch in the face but suddenly got overwhelmed by my urges. I drew a dick on the amongst us dude and started laughing maniacally “KINDA SUSSY INIT” were the only words that I could squeeze out of my now collapsed windpipe. While shaking on the ground and coughing out “SUSSY” in morse code I managed to paint the unfinished drawing of the crewmate with the blood coming out of my wrist which I sliced with the whiteboard marker. Everyone looked in horror as the teacher made a futile attempt to stop the bleeding, it was already too late. I started cumming uncontrollably since my teach was a hot 10/10 and I hadn’t touched a woman in years. The sheer pressure of cum pushed my underwear to its breaking point and broke through shooting the teacher in the face and instantly killing her. The stream of cum broke through the roof and was now flying towards the sun at 8 times the speed of light. Being me I managed to calculate that we had 1 minute remaining before the cum hit the sun and destroyed it and then another 8 minutes before we could actually observe this happen. I hadn’t one thing into consideration though, since my cum was faster than light it travelled back in time and struck my classmate before she managed to draw this damn amongst us character on the whiteboard. She died instantly, but it was a small price to pay for the lives of everyone on planet Earth.

Crisis averted I thought, when suddenly the Space Force burst through the door. Apparently the Americans had already found out I invented time travel with the power of cum. I took the severed hand of my colleague and jerked myself off with it to shoot myself even farther back in time. The cum burst through my pants and killed everyone in the room whilst sending me back in time. I looked at the date, it was September 11th 2001. I knew I had some time left before the Americans came back, they had to organize the terrorist attacks after all. It was then that I got the idea. I’d go back in time and make America lose the war against the UK. I jerked off once again and went back to the year 1775. With the power of my cum I assisted Elizabeth II (she has always ruled the UK) in defeating Americans in the Revolutionary War. Like an anime swordsman, all it took was one nut and the entire army was gone, I knew I had won. I sent myself back to the present where I was treated like a national hero, I had saved the entire world, hot girls flooding in from everywhere, but I knew I couldn’t nut anymore. It was too dangerous. I had to run away from Earth, my last nut on this planet sent me into space while simultaneously impregnating every woman in a 25 mile radius.

My final present.

My goodbye.

Thank you.