### DeShawn, Rodrigo & Co.

**Position: Financial Operation Director** (Hiring) (Urgent)

Job Description

– We are the OG Wall Street clout, gang gang
– Buy low, sell high, get monay, call hookers, play blackjack
– Fintech is our biggest shit, we do Bitcoin too, get the fuck outta here with yo altcoin crap
– S’all real numba game, we ain’t no joke so you better be rad
– Yeet other investors, we goin’ apeshit

Requirements and Preferences

– Ivy League grad with Top 10 MBA shit (Public Ivy? Shut the fuck up)
– Sociopathic machine gun gangsta who knows the game
– Bulge-bracket dropout is a plus, kill them all with yo smart-ass brain
– Trust fund baby? Get yo ass right here you mothaf*cka
– Did I fuckin’ stutter? You already know what it is

Benefits

– Sick pay
– Lit fam
– Chill boss
– Fat cash money 401k… or equivalent
– Fly first class for annual vacay, fuck shit up in Europe
– Fuck Obamacare, we got yo healthcare covered for free, ever heard of Mount Sinai?

Contact Information

– Email? Phone number? Fuck off, snitches get stitches.
– Come to Bed-Stuy Brooklyn, get off at Nostrand Avenue station, see Home Depot? Keep walking Pulaski Street, find a maroon-colored brick building, spot a homie at the front door, he is wearing a green hoodie. Ask him the price of plastic Chimichanga. He will give you a secret ride to our headquarters. Remain blindfolded, don’t act like a bitch. Meet my real fellas at the office, we ain’t need no papers, show us what you got.