Training was brutal.

First, if you get hired, they “kidnap” you and bring you to a large empty warehouse. When you wake up, you’re handcuffed by your hands and ankles to a chair in the center. All available Dunkin Donuts employees line up and walk up to you letting you know that you’re just a piece of shit that deserves minimum wage for being such a fuck up.

They get far more creative for the next few days. They also don’t feed you until adequately broken. Then, when your a “clean slate,” they start training you. They have a mock counter set up in a different warehouse. There you start making coffee. Every time you make a mistake, the supervisor for the shift you’re going to be working hits you with an aluminum baseball bat. My supervisor was Tim and he liked to hit my hands.

Then you move on to making food and advanced beverages (iced coffee, coolatas, etc.). Intro beatings were up to the supervisor’s discretion, but advanced beatings are only allowed to be in the knee caps.

Then, as cliche as this is, you watch customer relations videos “Clockwork Orange” style. Then, and only then, can you work at a mock Dunkin Donuts store.

You have one month to prove your training has stuck as paid actors (no one can verify what or how much they make) enter the mock store and test your new skills. If you do well, you move to a real store. If you fail, according to rumors, you are executed and thrown into a dumpster.