Many an occasion where I come across a beautiful woman in a South American bar. Wearing a large puffy coat, with rosy red cheeks. The same though crosses my mind, “What a beautiful woman, her breasts are so large, her anus is so tight. I just hope she isn’t Antarctican”. With my head held high a would approach the beautiful specimen. Penis already semi-enlarged with the rushing blood that originates from my warm beating heart. We talk, drinking beer, and even taking the occasional shot of Whiskey. Soon the question pops up, “where are you from?”. I respond with a warm smile spread across my pale face. “The North Pole.”. Soon after I reply her lips form into a frown. “Ah,” she starts, “A North Pole monger.”. I put my head down and shake it sadly, it happens every time. Soon, I find myself with my hand outstretched, readying the slap the will change her mind about the North Pole. With no regrets, I slap her beautiful bottom, fat jiggling outwards like a drop of water gently landing in a beautiful serene pond. She looks at me, face morphing into a hideous creature the likes of which would scare God himself. A loud roar envelops the bar, causing a chaos which drives all of the other customers out in a frenzy. It happened again.

Suddenly we’re reproducing, my small North Pole genitalia entering her tight, scaly, vaginal cavity. Many a man wishes he could do what I do. Many a man wishes he could be like me. But I… Well, I wish I could be like her.