So I was riding in a hot, crowded subway car. I had gotten on at one of the early stops so I have a seat.
Then this 2/10 landwhale gets on the train with her hotter 7/10 friend.

As I smile at the 7/10 friend, the landwhale scoffs and continues talking 7/10’s head off about “the patriarchy.”

As we progress further and further into Manhattan, the train becomes even more crowded, the landwhale becomes visibly more uncomfortable.
As her knees quaked more and more with every rock of the train, she peeled her shirt from her chest and fluttered it to fan her body.

So I ask, “would you like to take my seat?”
This catched the attention of several of the men on train who became visibly excited.
A single bead of sweat streamed from her hairline down her rounded face as she reluctantly stammered out a “y-yes”
I grin and jokingly corrected her with, “yes please”
“Yes please” she wimpered as a trear rolled down from her eye

At that response, all the men on the train became fully erect, and as she sat down, the men began swaying back and forth like apes, their eyes glued on the oppression they were witnessing.
As I stood looking down at the landwhale I asked with a snarky demeanor, “now, what do you say?”
She looked to her friend but all was lost.
“t-thank you” she stammered with defeat.
I chuckled, “it was my *privilege*”

The car errupted with cheers as all the men got up and began beating there chest and masturbating furiously.
Even the young boys got involved, swinging from the railings like chimps, soiling themselves in the process.

A Wilhelm scream could be heard from somewhere far off in the car as a man’s penis exploded.

The train, which had been slowly gaining speed the entire time, derailed as the conductor was too busy jerking off to the point of bleeding, thinking about how he was making 30¢ more than his female counterparts.
And as the car went up in flames, the conductor busted the best nut of his life.

So, AITA?