“**Hitler Has Only Got One Ball**”, sometimes known as “**The River Kwai March**”, is a [World War II](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II) British song, the lyrics of which, sung to the tune of the [World War I](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_I)\-era “[Colonel Bogey March](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonel_Bogey_March)”, impugn the masculinity of [Nazi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazism) leaders by alleging they had missing, deformed, or undersized [testicles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicle). Multiple variant lyrics exist, but the most common version refers to [rumours that Adolf Hitler had monorchism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Possible_monorchism_of_Adolf_Hitler) (“one ball”), and accuses [Hermann Göring](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann_G%C3%B6ring) and [Heinrich Himmler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinrich_Himmler) of [microorchidism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microorchidism) (“two but very small”) and [Joseph Goebbels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels) of [anorchia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorchia) (“no balls at all”). An alternative version suggests Hitler’s missing testicle is displayed as a war trophy in the [Royal Albert Hall](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Albert_Hall).
The author of the lyrics is unknown, though several claims have been made. The song first appeared among British soldiers in 1939 and was quickly taken up by [Allied](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allies_of_World_War_II) military and civilians. Its familiarity increased after its use in a scene in the 1957 film [*The Bridge on the River Kwai*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bridge_on_the_River_Kwai). The song has been cited as an example of morally-correct disrespect that used political mockery to boost morale in wartime.
## Lyrics
The best known [stanza](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanza) consists of the following [quatrain](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quatrain):
>Hitler has only got one ball,
Göring has two but very small,
Himmler is rather sim’lar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.
The opening line is a reference to [widespread rumours](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Possible_monorchism_of_Adolf_Hitler) that [Adolf Hitler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler) suffered from [monorchism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monorchism) (“one ball” meaning one [testicle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicle)). The second and third lines similarly attack [Luftwaffe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luftwaffe) chief [Hermann Göring](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann_G%C3%B6ring) and [SS](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schutzstaffel) chief [Heinrich Himmler](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinrich_Himmler) by suggesting they suffered from [microorchidism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microorchidism) (“very small” testicles). In the fourth line, Nazi propaganda minister [Joseph Goebbels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels)’s name is often mispronounced “go-balls” so that it rhymes with the accusation of [anorchia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorchia) (“no balls” meaning no testicles).
## Analysis
The lyrics attack Nazi leaders’ masculinity by mocking and belittling their alleged testicular deformities. [University of Kent](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Kent) psychology professor Janet Sayers wrote that the song was a response by the Allies to the use of “male fantasy” in Nazi propaganda. According to [Brian O. Murdoch](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_O._Murdoch), a [philologist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philologist) with the [University of Stirling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Stirling), a notable aspect of the lyrics is that they attack enemy leaders, but not the enemy in general. [Folklorist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folklorist) Greg Kelley of the [University of Guelph-Humber](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Guelph-Humber) wrote:
>As a means of ridiculing the Nazis, “Hitler Has Only Got One Ball” became immensely popular among Allied troops, who in transmitting this song were exercising something of a wartime convention by demeaning the sexual faculties of enemy leaders. But the mockery extended beyond just the Nazis’ sexual capacities. Since the 1920s, the words *balls* or *ballsy* had come to denote notions of courage, nerve, or fortitude. In that sense, defective testicles rendered the Nazis defective soldiers. This song’s itemized taxonomy of malformed German genitalia—the monorchid, the micro-orchid, the anorchid—was particularly forceful, and satisfying, to Allied soldiers in that it scattered satiric buckshot across the whole Nazi high command (Hitler; Hermann Göring, commander in chief of the Luftwaffe; Heinrich Himmler, Reichsführer of the SS; and Goebbels, Reich minister of propaganda).
According to Kelley, in claiming that Hitler had only one testicle, the opening line suggests that Hitler had less than the normal amount of sexual prowess and, symbolically, courage. [Mad studies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_studies) scholar Richard A. Ingram wrote that the accusation of monorchidism in the song alluded to the theory that monorchidism caused Hitler to be insane, in the same way that “‘lone nut’ retains the idea of a causal relationship between monotesticularity and madness.” Jason Lee of [De Montfort University](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Montfort_University) wrote, “Just as [Shakespeare](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Shakespeare) used a disability based on some fact to construct [Richard III](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_III_(play))’s character, in the case of Hitler disability is equated with not just moral weakness but evil.” [University of Stirling](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Stirling) philosophy professor Rowan Cruft describes the song as an example of morally-appropriate disrespect, writing “Hitler’s actions made it morally correct to show him disrespect” by singing the song.
All known versions of the original verse end with “no balls at all”. According to Kelley, “in this musical catalogue of testicular disorders, the definitive last entry is always [anorchism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anorchism) – the physical signifier of a lack of courage or character.”
[Southern Illinois University Edwardsville](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Illinois_University_Edwardsville) philosophy professor Greg Littmann writes that the song is an example of political mockery used to build a “fighting spirit”. [Maria Curie-Skłodowska University](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Curie-Sk%C5%82odowska_University) lecturer Joanna Jabłońska-Hood describes the song as using comedy to attack the masculinity of Nazi leaders, turning them from symbols of strength to objects of pity. According to Jabłońska-Hood, the apparent contradiction of high-ranking Nazi leaders being pitied mirrors the juxtaposition of the cheerful, upbeat tune of Colonel Bogey March with the “grim subject” of the lyrics. [University of Nottingham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Nottingham) music professor Mervyn Cooke describes the tune as “reflect\[ing\] the moods of humour in adversity and pride in the resilience of the underdog”.