Am I the Asshole for sending my son away after he made fun of Big Chungus?

My (34M) went on RedBubble.com and placed an order for a Big Chungus t-shirt, few days later and it arrived! I was thrilled! I showed it at dinner time, hoping my family would react positively. For the most part, they did. My daughter (15F) said it was cute, and my wife (32F) also complimented it! That’s where the compliments end, though.

My fucking son (13M) bursted out laughing, and said it looked stupid. I walked away sadly to my room, not eating dinner. My wife scolded our son for being disrespectful. However, that wasn’t enough for me.

I had to take drastic measures. The next morning, I woke him up at 5 in the morning and told him to pack his things. He asked why and I tell him he’ll find out when we arrive. I drive him to the middle of a landing zone with a plane. The pilot of that plane is Carlos, a guy I met on Craigslist. I paid Carlos a large sum of money to fly my son out to some jungle in South America to teach him a thing or two. I tell my son to grab his shit and get out of the car and into Carlos’ plane. He gets out as I told him to, and knocks on my car window. He asks where the fuck he is going and what the fuck is going on. I roll down the window and tell him he really hurt me at dinner the night before, and that he can’t talk trash about Big Chungus and get away with it. I tell him he’s going to a jungle located somewhere in South America. My son will be alone all by himself, with nothing except nature. He tells me that he’s not going, so I tell Carlos to grab him and haul him into the plane. I drive off as I see the plane take off.

A few days later and I get a facetime call from my son. He starts cursing at me and telling me i’m a bad father. He says he nearly got mauled by a jaguar, and that his foot is swollen due to a allergic reaction by a bite from a jungle bug. He also had to outrun a tribe of natives and had to swim for his life away from a hungry school of piranhas. He tells me i’m a terrible father and that i’m a huge mega asshole. He says he’ll find a Boa Constrictor and bring it back home and that he’ll teach it to squeeze me to death.

I told Carlos to bring him home in a few days, but if he’s gonna bring home a snake to squeeze me, I might just leave him there.

But the asshole statement struck a chord with me. Reddit, am I the asshole?