ok lemme start this by saying i made this list in quarentine so im not a total loser lol. also, insults dont count.

1. Held stan at gunpoint
2. kicked a foot into pips food
3. wore a hitler costume to school
4. took starvin marvins food
5. made a song abt kyles mom being a bitch
6. broke into kyles house
7. dressed up as a native American
8. tried to be black/mock black culture
9. abused power of being a cop
10. did blackface
11. snuck out of a field trip
12. lied to starving people to win competition
13. became a hooker
14. made Kyle fall down into a cave
15. beat up an endangered monkey
16. beat up a sloth
17. beat up a snake
18. froze Kenny’s head & took his eyes
19. wrote a song about hating his friends
20. made tweek & craig fight each other
21. beat up Kyle and Stan
22. pushed/flew craig across the room
23. sued Stan over basically nothing
24. took half of Stans things
25. sued the school
26. started a chain of every kid suing school
27. made a bunch of cats attack Skylar
28. turned a play civil war into a real one
29. took advantage of drunk people
30. brought back the confederacy
31. caused an entire city to burn down
32. excluded Stan because he didn’t get his “period”
33. caused Stan to take hormones
34. made the entire world crap their pants
35. tried to rip out Kenny’s tooth
36. broke into butters house
37. took over a tooth stealing cartel
38. let Kenny die
39. knocked out token with a rock
40. ran away from being sent to juvie
41. slapped Kenny in the face
42. ran from the cops all the way to mexico
43. brought contraband into prison
44. manipulated a kid to help him break out of prison
45. broke out of prison
46. broke the girls sled in half
47. knocked out pip with a rock
48. shoved disney into his ass
49. snuck all of disney into prison
50. gave mr garrison Ritalin
51. killed Kenny
52. joined NAMBLA
53. invited all his friends to NAMBLA
54. made butters have sex w old guys
55. punched his pet pig in the face
56. refused to give Kyle his kidney (even though he was dying)
57. made kids find dirt on Stan & Kyle
58. started a boy band solely for money
59. threw a fish into bus drivers hair
60. farted on a 1st grader for 28 minutes
61. set mr garrisons cat on fire
62. took the ham in the priest’s sandwich, put it between his ass cheeks & watched the priest eat it
63. pissed in a holy water fountain
64. shit on the floor & told the police it was the priests dog so he had to pay like $100
65. smacked like 50 kids on the forehead
66. started a church just to take kids money
67. beat up a 3rd grader
68. ended the world with a trapper keeper
69. almost killed Kyle
70. tried to kill Timmys turkey
71. killed Kenny
72. tried to break out of fat camp
73. paid a drug addict to pretend to be him
74. sold junk food to fat kids in fat camp
75. manipulated a fat kid into buying candy
76. helped Kyle get rid of his parents
77. told every kid to lie to the police
78. told CPS his mom molested him
79. got rid of almost every adult in town
80. caused civil war in south park (again)
81. caused total anarchy in south park
82. trained a pony to bite someones dick off
83. had scott Tenormans parents killed
84. stole the bodies
85. chopped the parents into little pieces
86. ⭐️turned Scott’s parents into chili & fed it to him
87. made Scott’s favorite band hate him
88. drank Scott’s tears
89. bought a theme park so no one could get in (especially stan & kyle)
90. had stan get pepper-sprayed
91. made kyle lose his faith in god
92. jerked off a dog…. twice
93. threw a condom of piss across the room
94. took stans moms tampon out of the trash
95. smacked osama bin laden on the head
96. pulled down osama bin ladens pants
97. gave osama bin laden a bomb
98. put Kenny’s ass picture on milk cartons
99. stole 33 aborted fetuses
100. used Kenny’s death to build a new shaky’s pizza
101. made butters gain like 50 pounds
102. gave butters liposuction surgery
103. pretended to be butters on the phone and called his dad a bunch of names
104. peed on butters
105. rubbed shit under butters nose to look like hitler, twice
106. pretended to be a teen whore
107. made kyle kiss his ass
108. farted on Kyle’s face
109. punched butters in the face
110. fed beef jerky to a baby cow
111. broke stans tv
112. dug around inside his teachers stomach
113. hid inside ms.chokesondicks body
114. made everyone crap out of their mouths
115. slapped tweek in the face
116. broke into Kenny’s house
117. turned Kenny’s ashes into chocolate milk
118. ate Kenny’s chocolate milk ashes
119. stole a car seat from garrisons car
120. filled Kenny’s erm with cat litter
121. crapped on two girls heads
122. covered butters, craig and Clyde’s entire house with shit
123. covered motivation corps office with shit
124. hit Clyde in the balls with a slingshot
125. sent Santa to Iraq and he almost died
126. Eric’s action led to jesus getting killed
127. made Kyle put his finger up Eric’s ass
128. farted on Kyle’s finger instead…7 times
129. TPed the art teachers house
130. broke into Kyle’s house
131. tried to kill kyle with a baseball bat
132. tried to kill Kenny, Stan, & Kyle … again
133. confessed to TPing the house before the boys so he didn’t get in as much trouble
134. refused to participate in a group project
135. put himself in a coma to avoid working
136. killed the flashback messenger guy
137. pretended to be jennifer lopez
138. got Jennifer lopez fired (the real one)
139. made ben Aflac to fall in love w his hand
140. made a christian band just for a bet
141. beat up jimmy
142. locked butters in a bomb shelter so he could go to casa bonita
143. ran from the cops
144. burnt down the school
145. broke into Kyle’s house
146. locked kyle in his room
147. stabbed rob Reiner
148. tried to beat up kyle… twice
149. kept cheating while playing ninjas
150. stripped naked in front of 100+ people
151. pretended go be handicapped to join the special olympics
152. tried to exterminate the jews
153. pretended to be a robot to get dirt on butters
154. let someone die just so his identity isn’t revealed
155. broke into stans house
156. broke Kenny’s cats leg
157. slashed the tires on a bus
158. peed on a teacher
159. blamed Trent Boyette for starting a fire
160. tried to sneak into Wendy’s party
161. pretended to be psychic for money
162. got a dozen innocent people arrested
163. wrote a christmas story about kyle getting an abortion
164. kept 63 hippies in his basement
165. tried to kill Kenny for a psp game
166. ate the skin off of everyones chicken
167. made butters think he was insane
168. broke into butters house
169. tried to take over the earth
170. kicked mr kitty
171. dressed butters up as a freak
172. broke Mr.Anderson’s fence
173. took a crap in principals purse 7 times
174. trashed butters room
175. smashed butters tv in
176. left butters to get in trouble & clean up
177. snuck butters out of a mental hospital
178. brought a gun to school
179. made stan drive a stolen boat
180. caused complete global panic
181. held kyle at gun point
182. almost killed kyle over “jew gold”
183. made butters fake his death
184. had butters sneak into a girls sleepover
185. made a presentation ripping on gingers
186. kicked all the ginger kids out of lunch
187. kidnapped every non-ginger kid in town
188. locked every non-ginger kid in cages
189. tried to throw every non-ginger kid in a pool of lava
190. helped steal a whale from an aquarium
191. threw a goodbye kyle party & didn’t invite him
192. pushed kyle onto the ground
193. biked to california to try & get family guy cancelled just because he doesn’t like it
194. attached a bomb to kyle’s bike
195. almost killed kyle
196. kidnapped kyle
197. pointed a gun at the president of family guy
198. almost drowned kyle
199. handcuffed billy turners ankle to the school flagpole, gave him a hacksaw, told him he poisoned billy’s lunch milk and the only way he could get the anecdote in time would be to saw through his leg
200. spit directly into a nanny’s mouth
201. messed with a super nanny so much she went to a mental hospital and eats her own shit
202. tried to get his friends to kill his mom
203. tried to kill his mom
204. blamed kyle for 9/11
205. made Kelly nelson smell his finger right after he stuck it up his ass
206. abused his power of being a hallway monitor by punching, kicking, and spraying kids with bear spray
207. brought cigarettes to school
208. beat up a midget
209. covered butters face with cat poop
210. shoved a tampon in butters mouth
211. mooned butters in his sleep like 10 times
212. put butters penis in his mouth while he was sleeping
213. blind folded butters and tried to put his penis in butters mouth
214. reported kyle to the police over something he didn’t do
215. framed Kenny for having lice
216. blamed a middle eastern kid for putting a snuke in Hillary Clinton’s vagina
217. farted in the dad of the kids face even though he’s innocent
218. made Mexicans do everyones homework
219. skateboarded over 4 homeless people
220. faked having Tourette’s so he could say whatever he wanted all the time
221. kidnapped a leprechaun
222. imagined kyle sucking his balls
223. made butters kick a girl in the vagina
224. broke into kyle’s house
225. gave kyle AIDS
226. faked having cancer to get free plane tickets
227. snuck out of a field trip and dragged butters along
228. dressed up as a Chinese person
229. made butters dress up as a Chinese person
230. made butters shoot like 3 people
231. begged Wendy to not fight him & tried to make her look pathetic
232. took a shit on mr garrisons desk
233. got Wendy in trouble with her parents for wanting to fight him
234. made a breast cancer report just to taunt Wendy
235. stole like 10 TVs
236. scratched a guys face like 10 times
237. broke into the police station
238. shoved a 3rd grader into some trashcans
239. tried to blow up a hospital
240. punched butters in the face & broke his tooth
241. blamed the jews for the 2008 recession
242. tried to kidnap Kyle
243. farted on a third grader
244. took credit for Jimmy’s fishsticks joke
245. made jimmy cry on Ellen
246. bought 5 tickets with his moms credit card to Somalia to be pirates
247. made Ike slap Clyde in the face
248. took over a french ship
249. sent ship people out to sea to die
250. hung butters up on a tetherball pole with his underwear
251. hit butters with a tetherball a bunch of times
252. hit stan in the head with a metal chair
253. took a shit on 12 motorcycle seats
254. lied to Mackey so he could be the person who does morning announcements
255. accused wendy of stealing kids lunch money to buy heroin
256. blamed wendy for turning the school to shit
257. used the morning announcements to constantly shit on wendy and blame her for things she had nothing to do with
258. wrote a book and just bashed wendy throughout the entire thing
259. dressed up like wendy and destroyed smurf land
260. made a movie about wendy destroying smurf land
261. wrote a song about hating minorities
262. said he was a doctor because he felt he needed to seem useful to minorities so they wouldn’t kill him
263. killed sarah Jessica parker
264. blamed butters for killing sarah Jessica parker
265. pretends to have a stomach ache every soccer practice just to get KFC after
266. pulled a gun on a KFC dealer
267. snorted KFC chicken skin
268. fucked over the cornel
269. caused Billy’s mom to die
270. told everyone to unfriend kyle on facebook
271. made butters tell a nascar driver his wife got raped
272. snuck onto a nascar racetrack and hijacked a car
273. killed 11 people with his nascar stunt
274. ran over a nascar driver
275. swerved off the track and killed at least 5 people
276. takes a shit on Kyle’s doorstep every. single. night.
277. snuck into sizzler
278. made the boys sneak into sizzler
279. tried to lock kyle in a meat-locker and freeze him to death
280. excluded mint berry crunch from going downtown
281. broke into everyones houses to install the coon and friends alarm
282. kept butters in a jail cell for 6 days without any food
283. made his friends take pictures of butters naked to use for blackmail
284. kicked clyde in the face
285. scratched Clyde’s face all over and made him bleed
286. scratched mint berry crunch and made him bleed
287. gave mint berry crunch a black eye
288. snuck out of his house
289. beat up a little girl
290. manipulated Cthulhu to send his friends into a dark dimension
291. made Cthulhu destroy a jewish church
292. made Cthulhu destroy San Francisco
293. manipulated his mom so he doesn’t get in more trouble
294. made Cthulhu banish coon and friends in to a dark oblivion
295. made Cthulhu destroy burning man and all the people in it
296. manipulated Cthulhu so he wouldn’t get sent into the dark oblivion as well
297. made Cthulhu destroy ever whole foods market in America
298. made Cthulhu kill Justin Bieber
299. manipulated Cthulhu so mysterion couldn’t save his friends
300. made fun of bebe and token for not having an iPad
301. made a scene in best buy and made everyone think his mom is a child molester
302. went on dr Phil to talk about his mom fucking him even though she didn’t
303. told everyone the school put up the boys penis sizes in the hallway
304. measured every boys penis and put it up in the school hallway
305. told the anger management doctors wife that he was having video chats with 14 year old girls because he called him fat
306. made the anger management doctors wife kill herself
307. helped trash and burn down a fed ex office
308. made crack babies play basketball with a glass ball full of crack & put it on the internet
309. gave an addicted pregnant woman crack
310. made his mom get him a birthday present every-time someone else gets one
311. stuffed hamburgers in his pants and went to the nurse saying he has Aspergers
312. farted on a bunch of burgers and sold them to kids
313. pouted at his own slumber party..twice
314. electrocuted like 15 Mexicans
315. tried to shoot butters
316. electrocuted butters
317. chased butters on a horse
318. chased butters on a boat
319. chased butters on a mini truck
320. tried shooting butters
321. made a little girl shit her pants in front of everyone, which led her to attempt suicide
322. made mr Mackey punch selena gomez in the stomach
323. made the principal wack selena gomez on the head with a baking sheet
324. gave the entire school faculty cupcakes filled with laxatives
325. brought down the schools health average to the lowest in the country
326. told everyone he’d give them each $5 to attend Clyde frogs funeral
327. accused kyle of killing Clyde frog
328. accused his mom of killing Clyde frog
329. made an elaborate scheme that someone was killing his stuffed animals when he was the one doing it
330. shoved someone trying to get into the grocery store
331. calculated the poorest kid in school right after kenny left
332. made butters re-calculate who the poorest kid in school is
333. set up a meth lab in his backyard so his mom can get arrested & he can go to a foster home
334. did a 20 minute song and dance number with 47 “yo mama so poor” jokes directed at Jacob Howelry, ending in a finale with fireworks
335. made a false police report
336. told the whole class about clydes mom yelling at him for leaving up the toilet seat
337. stole someones baby & a gun
338. kidnapped a tsa worker
339. spray painted the toilet camera
340. started a cash for gold business
341. made butters follow him and hold up a “cash for gold” sign everywhere he went
342. started selling shitty jewelry to old people through a jewelry tv show
343. “faith hilled” a political debate that was on national television….twice
344. beat up a kid for taylor swifting
345. wacked mr kitty with a toy
346. made up jewpacabra to make people scared of jews
347. broke into butters house
348. wasted the grocery stores time and money trying to catch jewpacabra
349. got so much fecal matter in Kyle’s nose he had to stay in the hospital for 27 days
350. set up token and Nicole together just because they’re black
351. stalked the girls to see what they’re saying about token
352. started telling everyone at school that him and kyle are together so kyle and Nicole wont be together
353. lied and told all the boys that batmobile was outside
354. locked token & Nicole in the locker room overnight
355. stalked token & Nicole on all their dates
356. broke into Nicole’s house
357. locked two hispanic kids in the locker room overnight
358. broke into a Denver nuggets game
359. hijacked the Jumbotron & sang a song in front of everyone about loving kyle
360. told everyone at the denver nuggets game the bat mobile was outside
361. drank butters cum
362. sued best buy for the bathroom not being big enough for him
363. bumped into a bunch of people on his mobility scooter
364. ran over honey boo boo on his mobility scooter a bunch of times
365. made his mom buy a super expensive security system
366. hired a guy to break into his house and rape his mom
367. pointed a gun at a home security guy
368. stole hundreds of thousands of votes from all the swing states so obama can win
369. fed butters an almond m&m, butters is very allergic to almonds
370. constantly stayed on speaker phone and annoyed the shit out of kyle
371. infiltrated the NSA
372. interrupted Wendy’s presentation with boo-ing
373. interrupted class several times screaming for token to stop killing his wife
374. held a woman at gunpoint and made her drive to the airport
375. caused panic across the entire country
376. got onto a plane with a gun
377. locked a black person in an airplane bathroom
378. caused a plane to crash… three times
379. did blackface
380. made everyone think token was a patient zero
381. shot token
382. dressed a cow up to be ginger and caused a bunch of people to commit suicide
383. made kyle tell his mom shes a fat skank and her tits belong in a morgue
384. made kyle carry all his books around school
385. made kyle give him his soda
386. made kyle do his homework for him
387. made kyle call him sir everywhere they went
388. made kyle tell everyone at school he loves cartmans farts and made a little rhyme for it
389. made kyle get on the floor and eat cartmans farts
390. made kyle tell mr.mackey how much he loves cartmans farts in his tummy and eat his farts in front of him
391. made the entire world think of kyle as “fart boy”
392. hit scott malkinson in the face with a stick
393. took a shit in the old guys garden and blamed it on stan so he would get grounded
394. pretended to be transgender so he could use the girls bathroom
395. stole butters dads drone
396. stalked craigs mom and recorded her taking off her clothes
397. put craigs moms bush up on the internet
398. made a music video with craigs moms bush starring him and butters
399. made butters put on a fake oculus headset and walk around town
400. snuck into a hospital
401. named a chicken mc nuggets
402. started an online commenting persona and annoyed the shit out of everyone
403. renamed the holiday special to “Washington redskins go fuck your self holiday special”
404. went into the faculty bathroom where only staff is allowed in
405. sent 200 pregnant Mexican women to the pc frat house
406. sent Siberian refugee children to the pc frat house
407. launched hundreds of tacos into the pc frat house
408. made butters date a Canadian girl
409. abused his power of being a yelp reviewer to get whatever he wants
410. treated the new kid david to basically be his maid
411. caused whistling willies to be destroyed
412. made butters spend hours a day filtering out all his negative comments on social media
413. caused butters to lose his mind from going through his negative comments
414. caused butters to jump out a window
415. kicked butters in the nuts
416. kidnapped clyde thinking it was kyle
417. threw Kyle’s pen across the classroom
418. took Kenny’s ice cream
419. pulled a gun on his mom
420. tried to start a war between the boys and girls at school
421. barged in on kyle when he was using the bathroom
422. barged in on Kyle when he was using the bathroom and brought heidi with him
423. tried to convince all of space x that when humans get to mars women will put all the men underground
424. lost feelings for heidi but still stayed with her
425. became a manipulative selfish asshole to heidi
426. stole hundreds of alexas and xboxes
427. stopped distracted drivers awareness week to bring focus on suicide awareness just because his friends were ripping on him
428. interrupted school with a song about him killing himself
429. helped kidnap the guy who took away Columbus day
430. made a plan to kill his girlfriend
431. dressed up heidi and himself as hansel and Gretel in the woods to try and lure out the evil witch and make it eat heidi
432. pushed heidi in front of a car
433. fed heidi a bunch of unhealthy “beyond” food that isn’t actually vegan and made her fat
434. started playing a drum beat whenever heidi came in the room because she gained weight
435. interrupted heidi’s family going out for ice cream by screaming, crying and banging on the window
436. asked to go in tokens house just to ask his family when they were gonna disrespect the flag and flip over cars because they’re black
437. pushed kyle up against the lockers
438. told heidi that its Kyle’s fault that heidi wanted to break up with cartman because he’s jewish
439. turned heidi into a complete asshole
440. beat up heidi
441. somehow hijacked the announcement microphone and said “mrs. broflovski, your tampons are available at the front desk” directed at kyle
442. threatened to kill himself every time Heidi broke up with him
443. got an F on his math test
444. cheated off of tokens test
445. made butters get dirt on token for him
446. harassed Nichole about token & black panther
447. stalked token
448. went to tokens house and talked with his parents trying to prove that token saw black panther
449. locked token in the bathroom and blackmailed him into letting him cheat off his math test
450. knocked butters out
451. sold vape pens to little kids with butters
452. dragged a dead hooker into a parking lot
453. had butters wack a vape dealer in the nuts
454. basically stole a bunch of vapes from the dealer
455. framed the vape dealer for killing the hooker
456. did everything in his power to stop kyle from telling on him and butters about the vapes
457. told the 6th graders that kyle was in on beating up the vape dealer
458. has all of his moms credit cards memorized
459. gave stan his moms credit card info
460. ruined the groups secret of using the e-scooters on halloween
461. punched butters in the face
462. grabbed kenny and threw him against a door
463. made kenny go first when going down to the principals office
464. broke out of jail
465. used his phone in class
466. ignored a waiter trying to serve him
467. was a complete dick to everyone just so he could be on his phone 24/7
468. tried to pee on craig
469. tried to use his anxiety to get kenny to stay in the bike parade
470. threatened to shoot up the school
471. bragged to everyone that they’re gonna beat them in the bike parade
472. used Kenny’s death to try to win the bike parade
473. tried to rip off susie tablers bra
474. called ICE on kyle and had his whole family ripped apart & sent away
475. spied on kyles family as they all got taken away because of him
476. used his phone during class
477. threatened to call ICE on jimmys family
478. tried to get the kids in the detention center to sing “its a hard knock life”
479. kept singing to kyle and made kyle not be able to sleep
480. refused to get a shot and destroyed the doctors office every single week
481. every time he has to get a shot he lathers himself in grease so the doctors cant catch him
482. told the school he believes that he “shouldn’t have to get shots for health reasons” and just avoided shots all over again
483. kicked his mom out of her own house
484. tried to get a toy from the toy box despite running around naked to avoid a vaccine
485. pretended to have a heart attack because the girls asked to have vegan food at lunch…twice
486. made butters carry him around in a wheelchair
487. blamed the girls for trying to kill him
488. didnt let the girls join the gaming club
489. went to the counselor and complained about the girls being too smart
490. tried to get the girls to leave the gaming club by playing increasingly difficult games
491. made Scott malkinson use his diabetes to get the girls out of gaming club
492. got the girls kicked out of gaming club